Post by verpetas on Apr 21, 2005 0:28:56 GMT -5
Hey all. I didn't see any good place for a joke FAQ (or announcements for that matter), so here y'all are.
I'm sure Sads is gonna wanna write teh proper anti-FAQ, but I'll start with a few q's I've seen floating around as well as some I've had myself.
Q: Hi Saddy! I'm new to CLAPS. What is it?
A: It's CLASP, dear, and it's a movement to eliminate worldwide pantaloons. Live it, learn it, wuv it, then buy Luvs.
Q: I'm having trouble logging on. WTF?
A: OMGLOLZORZ!!!1 It happens sometimes. If at first you don't suceed, try try again. Sometimes it's helpful to ask for a new e-mail to be sent to you. That's what I had to do.
Q: Saddy, you're so hawt. Can I have your babies?
A: Sorry, hun. I've already got four bairns as is. I'm afraid my hubby couldn't stand teh strain.
Q: What sort of stuff can I post here?
A: As long as it ain't illegal or terribly mean to other users, knock yourslef out. Just don't steal bandwidth. That'll shut us down for go. It's a big big no-no.
Q: How can I become a mod?
A: Lick my boots with your raspy tongue and then we'll talk. Seriously... I'll probably just solicit your services if I need them. Kind of like prostitution in a way.
Q: Kenna needs to post more pictures of his butt.
A: Ummm. That's not a question. Furthermore, it's kind of creepy. I'm just gonna go over here and ban you for a little while.
Q: So what's this autism thing all about? What gives? Mercury? I don't understand.
A: We have a new section on awareness. If you don't find what you're looking for there, check teh "How about a side order of mercury" thread in ASMB Rants. Lots of good information there for you and yours.
Q: *general technical question*
A: I don't know. I'm still a luddite on these proboards, so teh real FAQ will hafta address that shit.
Q: Hey, you just said "shit". We can cuss here?
A: To your heart's content.
Q: Sweet! Fuckpig asshole cumguzzler camelbanger dirty Sanchez hairpie jizz dumpster asspirate motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker. Ha ha. Fuck you Ted Turner!
A: I'm sorry, I don't quite understand your question.
Q: verpetas is an idiot. Why don't you ban his dumb ass.
A: That's actually a really good question. Let me get back to you on that.
Q: Private messages? WTF? You got all teh bells and whistles, huh?
A: See how much better I am than stinky old Lithium? I pwn faise.
Q: So... how's teh weather in your neck of teh woods?
A: STFU n00b.
I'm sure Sads is gonna wanna write teh proper anti-FAQ, but I'll start with a few q's I've seen floating around as well as some I've had myself.
Q: Hi Saddy! I'm new to CLAPS. What is it?
A: It's CLASP, dear, and it's a movement to eliminate worldwide pantaloons. Live it, learn it, wuv it, then buy Luvs.
Q: I'm having trouble logging on. WTF?
A: OMGLOLZORZ!!!1 It happens sometimes. If at first you don't suceed, try try again. Sometimes it's helpful to ask for a new e-mail to be sent to you. That's what I had to do.
Q: Saddy, you're so hawt. Can I have your babies?
A: Sorry, hun. I've already got four bairns as is. I'm afraid my hubby couldn't stand teh strain.
Q: What sort of stuff can I post here?
A: As long as it ain't illegal or terribly mean to other users, knock yourslef out. Just don't steal bandwidth. That'll shut us down for go. It's a big big no-no.
Q: How can I become a mod?
A: Lick my boots with your raspy tongue and then we'll talk. Seriously... I'll probably just solicit your services if I need them. Kind of like prostitution in a way.
Q: Kenna needs to post more pictures of his butt.
A: Ummm. That's not a question. Furthermore, it's kind of creepy. I'm just gonna go over here and ban you for a little while.
Q: So what's this autism thing all about? What gives? Mercury? I don't understand.
A: We have a new section on awareness. If you don't find what you're looking for there, check teh "How about a side order of mercury" thread in ASMB Rants. Lots of good information there for you and yours.
Q: *general technical question*
A: I don't know. I'm still a luddite on these proboards, so teh real FAQ will hafta address that shit.
Q: Hey, you just said "shit". We can cuss here?
A: To your heart's content.
Q: Sweet! Fuckpig asshole cumguzzler camelbanger dirty Sanchez hairpie jizz dumpster asspirate motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker. Ha ha. Fuck you Ted Turner!
A: I'm sorry, I don't quite understand your question.
Q: verpetas is an idiot. Why don't you ban his dumb ass.
A: That's actually a really good question. Let me get back to you on that.
Q: Private messages? WTF? You got all teh bells and whistles, huh?
A: See how much better I am than stinky old Lithium? I pwn faise.
Q: So... how's teh weather in your neck of teh woods?
A: STFU n00b.