verpetas
Fresh Depends
I don't wield teh pudding shotgun... I am teh pudding shotgun
Posts: 121
|
Post by verpetas on Apr 22, 2005 15:24:44 GMT -5
I dunno if this is really a good place to put this thread, but WTF, right?
Backstory: I actually saw a book that was nothing but teh letters a bunch of people wrote to God. Some of them were funny, some of them were touching, some of them were downright spooky. I wanted to try teh experiment here, so write a letter to teh Big Fella in teh Sky. Who knows, maybe you'll get an answer.
My letter:
Dear God,
Why do you kike some people better than others? Have I done something to upset you?
your pal, verpetas
|
|
|
Post by stampededtyphoon on Apr 22, 2005 15:36:45 GMT -5
Dear God,
Yeah, it's pesky lil' me, again......
Thanks for helping me find teh people of CLASP and ATACT to talk to--they've been very good for me, for teh most part.
I just hope I haven't done more harm than good for THEM, ya' know!? *A-heh*
Me
|
|
|
Post by Wo0tusses on Apr 22, 2005 17:17:47 GMT -5
Dear Dog,
OMGWTF?! seriously?
signed, your pal, wo0tus
ps, i don't really believe in you, so this letter is null and void
|
|
|
Post by Doose of the Pink Panties on Apr 22, 2005 23:59:12 GMT -5
Dear God,
Suck it.
Suck it hard.
Suck it long.
Suck it dry.
your pal,
Kenna
|
|
|
Post by stampededtyphoon on Apr 25, 2005 17:28:03 GMT -5
Dear God--
I hope you can ignore those last two letters, 'cuz I wanna' see those guys in Heaven, Okay?
Stampers
[Who has a rep for forgiving ANYBODY for ANYTHING, even if they DON'T wanna' be forgiven.......]
|
|
|
Post by nastygirl on Apr 26, 2005 0:07:07 GMT -5
Dear God, Thank you for stampers and her letter above. Aslo, thank you for Doose of the Pink Panties. Hes my bestest friend and I wuv him. Thank you for wo0tus. Hes always there to cheer me up in that off teh wall way of his. Thank you for Saddy, shes stuck by all of our whining and been there for us even when she needed someone herself. Not to mention shes cool as hel...heaven. Thank you for my fellow mods. Just because they are also cool and help to make my life a little more entrtaining. wuv always, Kenna
|
|
|
Post by Wo0tusses on Apr 26, 2005 0:28:07 GMT -5
Dear God, Thank you for stampers and her letter above. Aslo, thank you for Kenna. Hes my bestest friend and I wuv him. Thank you for wo0tus. Hes always there to cheer me up in that off teh wall way of his. Thank you for Saddy, shes stuck by all of our whining and been there for us even when she needed someone herself. Not to mention shes cool as hel...heaven. Thank you for my fellow mods. Just because they are also cool and help to make my life a little more entrtaining. wuv always, Doose of the Pink Panties huh, what'd i do?
...well at least it was amusing.
<hugs>
|
|
|
Post by stampededtyphoon on Apr 26, 2005 0:33:01 GMT -5
*God chuckles*
[Yeah, I think teh Big Guy has a sense o' humor--he puts up with ME, don' he?!]
Oh, and DITTO on what she said about Saddy, God!
|
|
verpetas
Fresh Depends
I don't wield teh pudding shotgun... I am teh pudding shotgun
Posts: 121
|
Post by verpetas on May 30, 2005 23:57:10 GMT -5
Dear God: CC: teh Adversary Re: Indigestion
It has come to our attention that wicked bad indigestion no longer serves much of an evolutionary purpose. I would suggest that you reconsider your policy in this matter. It would please teh employees of your operation if you were to kindly remove this ailment from teh species in order to improve human/deity relationships.
Thank you for your consideration,
verpetas
|
|
|
Post by porno librarian on May 31, 2005 0:26:49 GMT -5
just moving teh topic to a more appropriate place, considering this isn't really a creative writing exercise.
|
|
|
Post by Carebear0312 on May 31, 2005 1:16:45 GMT -5
Dear God,
Thank you for teh one bit of happiness in my life right now. I consider myself lucky having one thing in my life that makes me happy.
I would also like to thank you for letting me have such awesome friends.
I also thank you for letting teh color pink exsist...because we all know pink is kick ass.
Your fuzzy little buddy,
See B
|
|
|
Post by ChibiMizuTenshi on May 31, 2005 9:51:42 GMT -5
Dear God,
I know you’re not all brimstone and fire anymore and don’t really smite people as much as necessary, but could you at least make one exception. I’m not a bad person; neither is my family, and I try to be nice to others and usually am. But this lady next door has taken things too far.
I’m trying to be civil about it, but it would really help if you could just “eliminate” this situation for us. If not, if you could send me teh contact info of some nice Christian mafia or teh Vatican soldiers to do your bidding, that’d be just as good.
At teh very least, please assure me that your good friend Peter will give her a nice hassling at teh pearly gates. Ya know, if she makes it there…just saying…<br> Lovingly yours, Chibi
|
|
|
Post by Wo0tusses on May 31, 2005 10:17:40 GMT -5
MEMO
To:god (or whatever being is responsible) CC:any being (or otherwise) who may be able to correct this Re: Kitties who aren't healthy
First off i would like to point out, that you've done a fine job of producing a delight and cute lil runt of a kitty who i've gornw attatched to.
though this memo's intention is not to congradulate you, quite teh contrary infact. this kitty has a defect. i don't want an equal replacement, i want this one fixed and happy and healthy. if this cannot be done in a timely fashion, you can consider your further employment null and void
|
|
|
Post by Carebear0312 on May 31, 2005 13:37:47 GMT -5
Dear God,
I know I'm not perfect and I know I have done some pretty bad things. I also know that you and I have both moved pass that and forgotten about it right??
Well since I have kinda been behaving I was wondering if you could smite whoever teh hell it is who is making me miserable here lately.
I will give you some homemade Oatmeal Chocolate chip cookies if you do. You know you can't deny my cookies.
Sincerly, CB
|
|
|
Post by «Äçîdßµ®ñ» on May 31, 2005 16:16:35 GMT -5
Dear God,
WTF?? Really? Why do you create such wastes of flesh? If you would've just left red outta teh rainbow, their would be no pink and therefore, noone that damn sure shouldn't be wearing, in it! Also, I'll sacrifice my eldest brother to you if you would grant me a freebie, because it's one sin that I truly wish to commit...
Yeah, get on dat,
~Acid
|
|